Today I quit my job. Well I told my bosses that I want to live my dream and wake up in a place where I can see the sun rise listening to the waves in the ocean. I want to have more time for the things I love and listen to my heart. I want to give myself the opportunity to follow my calling without being stuck in a commitment I cannot sincerely give. Anymore. Well, at least some time of the year. Let’s start with the beginning of 2018. I am gonna move to the West Coast for three months to start with and see where life is taking me from there.
You see there are still some “two steps forwards and one step back” movements in my decisions. But at least I made a decision. When I came back from my latest trip to Hawaii the first thought stepping into my home was “Why do I own so much stuff?”. Since then I constantly have the urge to get rid of my stuff, radically clean out my belongings. They say the outside symbolizes the inside. Now I really know what they are talking about.
Not that I do not already live and have a life I love. Many years ago I started to build my life after the motto “I only want to work with people I really like on topics that make sense and give an impact to the world”. In the phases of my life where I could not find people to pay me for jobs like that I came up with my own ideas and projects how to make the world a better place AND some money on the side. Money was never important but I realized that no money did not pay the bills. So I took several jobs to make money but still had my projects that made the world – at least the world around me – a better place. Some people might say I did many things in the last years and only a few sustained. Many people might say I was always doing too many things in the same time so I never could really professionalize or make a lot of money with one expertise. And then I became a consultant and coach. Suddenly I had all the experience in the different fields that made me an amazing coach for social startups and social organizations because from my different jobs I new how big coorporations were being run, how marketing campaigns were created and executed, what teams needed to work well together and many more things. And overall I could tell the people why it really makes a difference when you love what you do – because you are more happy, you are better in what you do and your project is more successfull. With the company I work now I found the perfect job to combine all the experiences I “was having in the same time which never would make me successfull” but in the end exactly that made me so special and good in what I was doing.
So, actually, I really already love what I do. What can I say – seeing the world, making new experiences, being someone who always tries to make something better – or wait, in better words as my new lovely friends Jonny and Todd told me lately, being someone who always ENDEAVORS to make things better (cause to endeavor means to really go for the goal and not stay with only trying…), anyways, having this tremendous luck and being so blessed to have the opportunity to learn constantly and being open to new adventures of life, it just figures that my present state would not be the one to last.
In my last year I learned some things about myself and what talents I have I would have never believed in when I would not have experienced it myself. In the beginning I was sceptic and insecure and did not trust myself with this evolution of a brand new world and calling for myself. Only recently on my stay on Kauai I fully understood what this all means. And I had a moment where I just knew there is no way back. I don’t know whether you had an expercience yourself like this before – I had a few similar before in my life. For example when I had this amazing job in an advertising company, my own apartment, my own car, wonderful friends in the city I lived – and during one single dinner talk I just knew that I would have to give all that up immediately to start over new. Then I went back to university to study psychology. I did not have any clue in the moment of that decision what consequences this would have on my life, I just knew in that moment it was the right thing to do and there was not a question whether or not to do it. The next work day I went to my boss and quit my job. Sometimes you just know what you have to do.
To be honest there were a few months already in the last year where I was being more and more aware of the people and couples in my life who had recently started to live a life they were really dreaming of. One of them moved to Sardegna to build an eco yoga retreat center, one of them was moving to Portugal because of the light and landscape to surf and yoga and live their dream there, one of them was moving to Bali and giving up her life in Sweden to follow her calling, and my new friends and family in Kauai all of them were part or full time living their dreams there. It was obvious that this should all be signs for me to see that it was all possible afterall when you only decide to do it.
The questions popping up in my mind while still being on the magical island of Kauai enjoying the beautiful sunrises I have ever seen in my life were questions like “How long do you want to wait to really live the life you want to live?”, “How many decisions have to be made before you can make the decision to do what you really want?”, “Which assumptions your ego makes up to keep you from making these decisions are really true?”, “How many excuses do you have before you step out of your comfort zone and really make that call?”, “How old do you want to become before you allow yourself to be fully happy with your life?”, “When are you ready to live the life of your dream?”.
So when I came back from my trip this time, I knew I cannot go on with this life like this anymore.
I knew the time was over where I could fool myself. No weasel words anymore about – only I have to achieve this and then I can start living the life I dream of. The time is now.
And then one last sentence of a silly series on television gave me the rest: Once you have made the decision, everything else will fall into place. And I just knew I had to do it.
Today I told my bosses I want to be more flexible in where I live and how I commit to jobs in the future. To give it a light start I will work part time for them but have the flexibility to go abroad once in a while for several months in the year.
And although I am still a little insecure to let go of my secure job and money income because it is always a challenge to let go of your comfort zone, I KNOW that things will be fine. No. Not fine. IT WILL BE AMAZING.
Today is a perfect day to start to life your dream.
P.S. Thanks to all my dear family of friends who were wonderful role models and showed me how to life your dream works beautifully and encouraged me to make this (first) step. Jana, Lisa, Mia, Martin & Elke, Simone & Marco, Andrea & Todd, Jonny, Kelly, John Lydgate, Isha, El Herington, Charlotte Scott-Russel <3